It isn t everyday something happens in our neck of
The woods
And it s a tired point I m making I hope it ll lend
Me the goods
I ve always been told I ve had better things to do than
Sit and wait
Wait for something, anything to happen in on me or
Us as of late

Because I found him
So cute and cuddly
He loves me, I m his mommy
Jack the Rabbit does everything I say
Well he better or I ll not feed him today

Jack s 8 feet tall and stout as a wall, he s liable
to do some damage
But as we see he listens to me and is harmless with a
Little cabbage
I hate to say he s a guard dog because he s obviously
A fucking rabbit
More to the point, when he s angry, he s lethal
So he s my assassin

He s Rico Suave and the ladies love him he
Rubs it in my face
Last week a jealous boyfriend came and tore the
Shit out of my place
He s covered hi neck so far, but I m too
Far from optimistic
And if this antichrist slips me one more time,
I ll cut off his fucking dick